We all receive advice. Sometimes we ask for it, and sometimes it’s just a “free bonus” someone throws our way. Sometimes we receive good advice, and sometimes… not so good. Parents, friends, pastors, teachers, coworkers, and even complete strangers offer us advice. In fact, in our world of social media, we can receive more advice in five minutes of scrolling than we probably need in an entire week!
Yet receiving advice and benefiting from it are two completely different things.
“Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” — Proverbs 13:10 (NIV)
The Humility to Listen
Proverbs connects our resistance to advice with pride. Pride insists that we already know enough, that we don’t need correction, or that our way is best. Pride is that little voice inside us that says, “Who are you to tell me what to do?”
Wisdom, however, listens.
Wisdom recognizes that we don’t have all the answers. It understands that God often works through the people He places around us. A trusted friend may see something we have missed. A parent may recognize a danger we haven’t considered. A fellow Christian may lovingly point out something in our lives that we would rather not see.
Sometimes the advice we most need to hear is the advice we least want to hear.
Our first reaction when someone offers us correction is often to defend ourselves. We explain why we did what we did, we seek to justify our decisions, or point out why their advice doesn’t really apply to our situation. But what might happen if, instead of immediately defending ourselves, we simply listened?
What if we asked, “Is there something here that I need to hear?”
Not All Advice Is Good Advice
Now, before we get carried away with the idea of taking advice, let’s remember that not all advice is good advice.
If you don’t believe me, just remember the sage advice of “Mrs. Job” in the Old Testament. Job had lost his possessions, his children, and his health. In the midst of his suffering, his wife offered this little gem of encouragement:
“Curse God and die.” — Job 2:9
Well, there’s a bit of advice you won’t find on an inspirational coffee mug!
Job wisely refused her counsel. He understood that even in the midst of suffering, God was still God. His circumstances had changed dramatically, but the One in whom he placed his trust had not.
There is an important lesson for us here. Being humble enough to listen to advice does not mean being obligated to follow every piece of advice we receive.
We need both humility and discernment. Humility allows us to listen. Discernment helps us determine whether what we have heard is worth following.
Consider the Source
One of the best ways to evaluate advice is to consider its source.
Is this person trustworthy? Do they have wisdom or experience in the area in which they are offering advice? Do they genuinely care about me? Are they willing to tell me what I need to hear rather than simply what I want to hear?
And, perhaps most importantly for us as Christians, does their advice agree with the Word of God?
That last question matters because even people who love us can give us poor advice. A friend may encourage us to hold on to a grudge because we have been hurt. A coworker may suggest cutting a few ethical corners because “everyone does it.” Someone may tell us to follow our hearts, forgetting that our hearts are not always the most reliable guides.
The Apostle Paul gives us a wonderful principle in 1 Thessalonians 5:21:
“Test everything; hold fast what is good.”
Notice that Paul doesn’t tell us to reject everything, nor does he tell us to accept everything. He tells us to test everything.
For the Christian, God’s Word is the standard against which we test the advice we receive. Scripture shapes our understanding of what is good, what is wise, and what is pleasing to God. In order to test our advice against God’s Word, we are going to have to know God’s Word. We are going to have to read God’s word on a regular basis.
The Wonderful Gift of a Wise Friend
One of the blessings of being part of the Church is that God has not called us to walk through life alone. He places us among brothers and sisters in Christ who can encourage us, pray for us, correct us, and remind us of His promises when we lose sight of them.
What a gift it is to have someone in your life who loves you enough to tell you the truth!
Of course, even our wisest friends are imperfect. So are our pastors, our parents, and our teachers. That is why we need to continually return to the One whose wisdom never fails.
Jesus Christ is our Wonderful Counselor. He does more than offer us advice about how to live a better life. He gives us what we could never achieve through our own wisdom or effort: forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life.
When our pride gets in the way, when we ignore good counsel, or when we make foolish decisions, we have a Savior who calls us to repentance and assures us of His forgiveness. His grace gives us the freedom to admit that we were wrong, to learn from our mistakes, and to grow in wisdom.
We don’t have to pretend we know everything. We are loved by the One who does.
A Little Advice for Today
So, here’s a little unsolicited advice from me today:
The next time someone offers you advice, resist the temptation to immediately dismiss it. Listen humbly. Consider the source. Test it against God’s Word. Hold on to what is good, and graciously let go of what is not.
And while you’re at it, thank God for the people He has placed in your life who love you enough to speak the truth.
After all, wisdom is not found in the person who always has the answers. Sometimes wisdom is found in the person who is willing to listen.
A Prayer for Today: Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times my pride keeps me from listening to others. Give me a humble heart, a discerning mind, and a love for Your Word. Thank You for the people You have placed in my life to encourage and guide me. Help me to receive wise counsel with gratitude and to offer counsel to others with kindness and love. Above all, keep my trust firmly rooted in Jesus Christ, my Savior and Wonderful Counselor. Amen.
<>< Craig McCourt